Dear John,

I may have been, and still am, skeptical of strangers, but I don't ever remember you being an outsider. You were the first man I loved outside of my immediate family, the first person I came to cherish and love so deeply as my own.

Your big bear hugs make me feel loved and safe and your joking and kidding makes me laugh and laugh, always has, always will. No one can knock some sense into me quite like you can, as evidenced that June night in 2013. Thank you for searching me out, for barging through the clamor of girls, for sticking up for me and for loving me like your very own, too. You've been doing all of that from the beginning, and to call you my family makes me the luckiest one.

Thank you & I love you.

Dear Carlie,

The day you were born was one of the most exciting days of my life to that date. I was waiting as patiently as an eight-year-old could have waited for you, eager to meet and know and love the little cousin I could call mine.

I remember holding you for the first time, feeling excited to finally have you on this side of the earth, excited for all of the times ahead together that I was dreaming up in my mind. That excitement has never faded over the years of your life. I still get excited to see you. I still feel a swelling of joy and pride when I see you and think about you.

You've been a source of light and mischief and brilliance since the day you were born, and to watch you grow up and figure out this thing we call life has been a great honor of my life. Just the way you've been the best little cousin to me, I know you'll be the best big cousin to some little cousins one day, and I can't wait to keep watching the way you choose to live your life. Watching you find your words and your voice and your way makes me proud - so, so proud - and I'll forever be the most proud of you, forever be in your corner rooting you on and propping you up when needed. I'll forever be protective of you, knowing that you deserve the world, and hoping that you always know that too. And should you ever forget it, for whatever reason, I'll always be here to kick the ass of whomever or whatever made you forget your worth and your beauty and your courage, and then I'll straighten that crown atop your head and fasten it back in place, right where it belongs.

Thank you & I love you, so so so much.

Dear Jackson,

Oh, you rascal. There are many things I love about you, but I love your tender-hearted soul the most.

You came into this world with a heart as soft as they come, and despite the teenage boyness that makes up all of you right now, that soft heart still remains. You've got one of the sweetest spirits I've ever met. I can't wait to see how you cover this world in your energy, how you continue to bless all of us around you with your quirks and your thoughtfulness.

Thank you for being a bright spot in our family, for reminding many of us of the one who left. Thank you for always being up for an adventure or a good conversation, for laughing and hugging and loving your way through this life. To be your big cousin is one of the best roles of my life.

Thank you and I love you. 

Dear Mikey,

In the September after the three of you left for college, in one of the emails back and forth between Zach and I, I mentioned how I hadn't heard from you or from Sam for a while, how I was sad without all three of my big brothers and did he think they still cared about me? Did he still love me, too? This was his response:

"You of all people should know that I will always love you and care about you. The fact that you have to ask me makes me feel like I have failed as a brother. I love you more than you could ever imagine and think about you all the time boo boo. I miss having you here to put me in check. Don't worry... Sammy and Mikey still love you... they are just very busy. I'm extremely busy too, so I can see why they haven't been able to talk to you. I have not even talked to either one of them in about a week and a half.... but trust me, they love you, as do I."

Neither one of us realized then how much the three of y'all would morph into the three of us, how we may have thought y'all loved me then and I loved y'all then, but how that love would be tested and strengthened over the coming months and years ahead.

You're not only Zach's best friend, you're my big brother, too. And I'm the luckiest to call you my family.

Thank you for taking me to Boston. Thank you for loving Zach and Sammy like no other man friendship I’ve ever witnessed since. Thank you for showing me what friendship, loyalty and family look like when lived out loud, when experienced without abandon. Thank you for never leaving me, but instead for rescuing me at all times - whether in the middle of the night or on a random Tuesday morning when the storm decided to roll in. Thank you for teaching me what you know, thank you for sacrificing for me, thank you for pouring into me and never giving up on me. Thank you for stepping into the role of your best friend, for never even hesitating for a nanosecond. 

You're full of fire and adventure (like your own papa bear) and you're one of the most fun people I know. You hold me to a standard higher than most, and you consistently cheer me on, regardless of the feat before me.

One time you told me to go kick ass and take names later, and there were many days I would wake up in the morning repeating that line to myself. I like to think that I took your advice and ran with it, purely because I’ve had the best example leading me and supporting me all of these years: you. 

There’s a softness that makes up your soul. It’s surrounded in all four corners by a jagged little coating of protection, but if you lift up the edge of that little bit of armor you’ll find the most tender hearted, driven and ambitious, selfless and giving, colorful and silly soul that makes you one of my most favorite people on this universe, that makes you my loyal big brother, that makes you the incredible man I’m so proud of.

To be your little sister and to be continuously loved by you is one of the most God giving relationships and gifts I’ve ever experienced.

Thank you & I love you so so so so so much. 

Dear Sammy,

In the September after the three of you left for college, in one of the emails back and forth between Zach and I, I mentioned how I hadn't heard from you or from Michael for a while, how I was sad without all three of my big brothers and did he think they still cared about me? Did he still love me, too? This was his response:

"You of all people should know that I will always love you and care about you. The fact that you have to ask me makes me feel like I have failed as a brother. I love you more than you could ever imagine and think about you all the time boo boo. I miss having you here to put me in check. Don't worry... Sammy and Mikey still love you... they are just very busy. I'm extremely busy too, so I can see why they haven't been able to talk to you. I have not even talked to either one of them in about a week and a half.... but trust me, they love you, as do I."

Neither one of us realized then how much the three of y'all would morph into the three of us, how we may have thought y'all loved me then and I loved y'all then, but how that love would be tested and strengthened over the coming months and years ahead.

You're not only Zach's best friend, you're my big brother, too. And I'm the luckiest to call you my family.

Thank you for taking me to Boston. Thank you for loving Zach and Mikey like no other man friendship I’ve ever witnessed since. Thank you for showing me what friendship, loyalty and family look like when lived out loud, when experienced with a heart completely wide open, when fully poured into with more love and more wisdom and more grace than one ever knew before.

Thank you for teaching me how to drive a stick shift, though I’m not sure the lesson would still stand today. Thank you for helping me heal while I sat passenger in a little blue Z-4 as you sped it through the town I begged to leave and the one you chose to come back to, if only for me, all those weekends after weekends. Thank you for the music you chose, the songs listened to as a trio and the ones we chose as our own. Thank you for taking care of me first when we wrecked, for showing me that l really wasn’t ready to walk away from this thing called life, and for showing me every day since that it’s worth fighting for, that it’s worth introducing ourselves to our demons and becoming familiar with their characteristics, so that the hero’s inside of us know their place even more: front and center, right up close to our hearts, out and open and breathing and living in the world.

The way you truly wade through the forest and forge out the path that looks the most intriguing to you, the one with the most heart and adventure, the one that’s guaranteed to take more pruning and more forging and more dedication but will yield the results most desired, inspires me to always dig deeper, to listen for the way my soul perks up at the music that others may question the tune of. You’ve shown me how to truly live for and within yourself for the benefit of others. 

I pray you always chase the moon, and I pray I’m always there chasing it beside you.

Thank you & I love you so so so so so much. 

Dear Jamie,

If I ever need proof that God is in the details, that He orchestrates the biggest life changes with the smallest of moves, all I have to do is think about you.

I was dreading the day you would walk through that door to my favorite English class, to the one hour a day I really enjoyed, to replace one of the only few teachers I truly connected with and trusted. I thought I didn’t want you there, but the moment I saw you I knew: I loved this lady (who, in hindsight, was barely even what they consider a full fledged adult). 

It’s like my soul had been looking for yours all my life long. You instantly created a safe space for me when I didn’t even know I needed it yet. You saw the wild and total abandon in my eyes and ran right into a friendship with a loud and hungry fourteen year old girl that none of us saw coming. For how could we have predicted a relationship so close, so life shaping and soul merging as ours?

You’ve been my big sister/mentor/second mom/best friend/encourager since the day you let me weasel my way into that big, life giving, totally selfless heart of yours. Which was probably the second day of what was supposed to be that quick, one week or so, substitute teaching job.

You didn’t look away when you learned my deepest of secrets, and you never have since. You didn’t run when I needed you the most, when the weight of my need must have felt suffocating and soul crushing to a young twenty something. You’ve stayed by my side and carried me through fire after fire, sometimes even helping me to set some harmless ones myself.

My deepest of pains and my happiest of celebrations have always had you right beside me. What a beautiful thing it is to walk through the fire and dance upon the sun with the same person for so long. You have never doubted me and have always supported me beyond what makes sense. You have never made me question my self worth, instead always shining the light inside the darkest corners of my mind.

You’re one of the most beautiful women I’ll ever have the honor of knowing and loving and admiring and you’ll always be mine first (sorry, Marin... I have learned to share now though). My family and my heart and my life wouldn’t be a fraction of what it is today had it not been for you (and for that, I thank you too, Mrs. Bader).

Thank you and I love you so, so, so much. 

Dear Rhea,

Our friendship makes me laugh. By the rules of junior high school, we really had no business being friends.

Thank you for taking me to all of the parties, even though you knew before we got in the car that it would be a wasted effort, that Zach would drag me to his truck and drive me right back home. Thank you for always having an answer. Thank you for the hours upon hours spent driving around town, through country lanes and across back roads. Thank you for the music and the silence and the words spoken and the words kept.

You don’t let me hide from the world. You’re my saving grace, my lifeboat, my trusted companion and my bitchy greatest friend. You’re my best confidant and my brilliant editor.

When my mind goes blank with overwhelm or frustration, you're right there to remind me of what is true. You have words when I have none, and they're always the right words. Sometimes not the easiest words, but always the true words. I've never had to walk through a tunnel of despair alone or look down the barrel of death on my own because you have always been there. You've never left me, not once, not even for a minute, since that day in junior high when our sisterhood began. 

When I couldn't sleep, you would lay with me until my eyes eventually closed and my mind drifted off into a fit of exhausted slumber. When I couldn't eat, you would find The Hill and ensure my most comforting meal was in front of me. When my body was wracked with sobs, grief the only companion who felt close, you were there to hold me. When my joy was sky high, when it felt like the path in front of me was smooth and paved in gold, you were ( / are) there to dance along the way with me. When the glasses are clinked and the cheers are cheersed, you're right there cheers-ing the biggest cheers in the room (i know you're laughing at how many times the word 'cheers' is used in this sentence).

There is no other like you. Your loyalty, selflessness, and love truly know no bounds and to be on the receiving end of each is one of my greatest life honors. You fill my soul with your bitingly hilarious comments, a squeeze hug that only you can give, and a lifetime worth of joy, purpose, and allegiance. I wouldn't be me without you, and I kind of like myself these days, so don't ever leave me, okay? 

Thank you & I love you. So so so much.

Dear Amy,

Isn’t it funny how a ten-year old’s heart can know the instant it found one of its soul mates? You ignited something in my life the day we met that has never died out. To this day I still can’t quite place my finger on it, but if I was forced to identify what it was, I would say it’s the first time I loved someone so wholeheartedly and so instinctively outside of my own family. 

My loyalty will always remain with you. Remember that secret I told you, before you got married? The one that I held on to with a deep burden of pain for years? Remember how you responded? With grace. You responded with grace, like you have every single day of our friendship for the last eighteen plus years. Remember how when we were thirteen and your mom (love you, Kenny) said you couldn’t hang out with me anymore? Remember how you responded? With grace towards your parents and with love towards me. You loved me and stood by me through my lowest and most unforgiving of moments back then, and you haven't stopped since.

It's a well-known fact that my feet wouldn't be upright on this earth and my heart wouldn't be beating it's wild, intense beat these days if it weren't for you. You've saved me from myself (and I don't just mean from running into ponds in the middle of the night) so many times before and even as we grow into adults (or wait, are we already adults? is the whole 'growing into adults' part behind us? oh lord.), you continue to save me. Oftentimes mostly from myself, yet again.

You know the inner workings of my brain almost better than I do. You don't let the laziness that rests inside of me ever win. You don't let the demons that circle around my heart ever get a full grasp of my soul anymore these days, you don't let the doubts and fears that permeate my mind ever speak more loudly than the truth. You create space for me to breathe, heal, thrive, live. Without you, I don't think many of the pleasant feelings that fill my belly on a sunshiney day would be there. 

You've taught me the value of true friendship and relationship in the way that only two decades worth of love and commitment can. I know no friend, no sister, no human being more loyal or true than you and the way my heart falls in line alongside yours to the step of our friendship and sisterhood makes me feel like the luckiest ten (or twenty-eight) year old in the world.

You’ve been my family since that rainy November day we met and to now raise our own little families beside each other is the purest form of God’s magic, love, humor, and faith. How lucky are we to feel it poured over us in such a way every single day?

I love you with every single broken, healing, and healed fiber in my being. My gratitude and love for you knows no bounds and I’ll spend every day I’m lucky enough to open my eyes on this earth thanking the God we love for you. 

Thank you and I love you, Bizzy. 

Dear Kali,

"Al, I think you should meet this girl named Kali. I think you would really like her."

"Ugh, no, Zach. I know who that is and I already don't like her."

"Stupid little girl," probably muttered under his breath as he walked away.

Big brothers always (sometimes) know best, huh?

Always in the #nonewfriends camp (yes, Avery, if you're reading this, you are indeed noticing the trend), I think the feeling is mutual that we didn't want to go beyond knowing of each other.

It's a good thing a bleeding heart, wide open from the deepest of breaks, knows what it needs more than the ego and conscious mind of a fifteen-year-old.

Thank you for coming to the memorial. Thank you for coming up to the girl who didn't want to know you, for seeing beyond the defenses and for opening your arms wide for the first hug that would create a life change in two young girls who had no idea the other one needed her just as much as she needed her, too.

You've been a pivotal column in my life since that terrible day, walking through more terrible days right alongside me and dancing through the moments filled with sunshine and laughs like only you can dance. Our friendship is one of my favorites, and one that paves the roads I walk with understanding, strength, and hope for more future days of sunshine and laughs. Without you, I'm sure those roads would be filled with more potholes and grey skies than I care to imagine.

Thank you for handling my infertility in the most peaceful, respectful, and encouraging way. Thank you for always thinking of me, when you should have been thinking of yourself first. Thank you for putting your joy to the side to swim in my grief with me - do you know what a special person it takes to do that? Do you know how special of a person it is who does that time and time again? Your faith and your childlike joy and your sass and your stubbornness and your honesty are my most favorite things.

I wouldn't want to spend my nights at a cemetary with anyone other than you.

Thank you and I love you.

Dear Avery,

I still remember the exact moment I first saw you. Although your Rainbows and Abercrombie jeans and polo were pretty cute, I thought "Nope. Not letting her in."

I imagine the bellow of a laugh and eye roll God let out in that instant, probably saying "Oh, Allie, this girl is going to be one of the most pivotal and endearing friendships in your life. Just wait."

I'm glad God's ways are always greater than mine.

Because pivotal and mighty and crucial and freaking hilarious you are, indeed.

There's no one in this world who can make me laugh as you do, no one with that perfectly hilarious said-with-a-straight-face dry sense of humor as yours that can make me spit out my water mid conversation. To imagine having to have gotten through our younger years, and every year since, for we both know they don't seem to get any lighter, without your humor and your company by my side is the equivalent of never having pizza again.. utterly terrible.

You run towards the sunlight even when the conditions seem hopeless, and you encourage those you love to do the same, too. You've got a mean knack for some good guacamole and can plan one tightly ran ship, which those around you appreciate more than you know. How would things ever get planned without you? I have a feeling we have Dale to thank for passing down that gene. Your home is always open and your love is expressed through constant car rides around town, playlists made specifically for the listener, and more plans to do it again soon.

Tom said "What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing. But under my feet, baby, grass is growing. It's time to move on, it's time to get going."

And to you I give you that. The grass is growing, Avery baby, and I love you and am so very thankful for you. All the time, all the while.

Thank you & I love you.

Dear Katie,

We're such an unlikely pair, huh?

Soft and sweet, tough and rough. Quiet and loud, cautious and reckless. Trusting and skeptical, weary and bold. Sometimes our friendship makes me laugh, for the qualities that complete us each as individuals normally don't keep the company of the other, yet I've found the greatest company and friendship in you from the very beginning.

There are so many things I love about you. I love that growing up when I was getting the blame for the ruckus you had a part in as well, you were running away, giggling as you hid. I love that with anyone else, that would have driven me crazy, but with you it just made me laugh and laugh. I love the innocence that makes your heart so pure, the sweetness that seeps out of you like the fire that rages out of me. I love that somehow we found each other and amidst all of our differences and created a love that knows no bounds, that no force nor person nor event could break or separate.

Without you, I wouldn't be a fraction of the person I am now. I would be less patient, less kind, less merciful - I would be less than I am. You've shaped my life in such ways that I know were arranged by the hands of God himself. Your presence beside me every day for years allowed my weary soul to feel okay, to feel like it was okay to settle in a little bit, to let the love of the ones I love carry me through that day, week, month. Your laugh and your nervous giggles next to mine allowed me to feel fully alive, to thank God for the girl beside me, for the one who helped make up the only bashful part of the Terrible Trio. My memories are flooded with your face and your hugs and your faith and your love.

The faith that you wake up with each day, rely on throughout your moments big and small, and that you fall asleep with at night has seen me through my darkest of valleys and rejoiced with me in the sunshine atop the mountaintops. It's a driving force behind who you are, and one that has served its purpose time and time again in my own life and in our own friendship, and continues to bless us both with its devotion. Thank you for pointing me due north when I need reminded, thank you for loving me so wholly and so beautifully, thank you for having the kindest heart and the most faithful soul. Thank you for being my Kit Kat, for ever and always.

Thank you and I love you.

Dear Callie,

You’ve been talking me off of ledges and from burning down places since we were ten years old. I pride myself on my initial gut reactions of people, places, and all the things, as you know, and knowing that my ten year old gut reaction to you that November day in 2000 was spot on, and still holds true eighteen years later, makes me more proud than you know. But it makes me proud of you, not of myself (though I do know how to pick 'em - I'll give myself that ; ) ).

With a couple passing of notes on my first day at that new school, a friendship was formed between two little eleven and ten year old girls that would span decades, that would see each other through moments full of joy and moments full of true despair, a friendship that would grow and evolve and help prop each other up when one's legs, it never mattered whom's, were too weak to do the job itself. Your friendship is indeed one of those friendships that they call a gift, and I'm so, so lucky to be on the receiving end for all these years.

In the moments when I start to forget my faith and lose the hope, you're right there beside, behind, and in front of me to remind me of the good things, to remind me to keep loving, keep being faithful. If I feel lost or anxious, all I have to do is look at, and to, you. Just like you somehow calmed my fears, with more patience than a junior high or high school kid should usually possess, about Revelations (still makes me laugh), you can still calm my adulthood fears down as quick as they are to rise. 

You make the parties fun and any mood in any room anywhere a bit lighter and brighter. You have so much quiet strength, big goals, insane beauty (inside and out, as they also tend to say) strong opinions, spitfire sass, deep wisdom and one of my favorite laughs in all of this world all rolled up into that tall body and big soul you call home.

Thank you, and I love you more than you'll ever know, neighbor.

P.S. - Did I ever tell you how thankful I was, and still to this day am, that you came to Savannah? Thank you thank you thank you. It meant more than you'll also ever know... though you are dang smart, so you may already know these things. 

Dear Samantha,

If I thought I loved you amongst the hallways of school, in between pizza nights and pasture parties, along the sidelines of football games and through the wilderness of summer camps, teenage life, and growing up beside each other, I wish you could see the way my heart bursts open for you now.

Brightly colored, bubble-lettered notes on lined paper, passed down through the hands of our peers and in the hallways between classes, have been replaced with text messages sent at all hours of the day and night, the subject matter changing but the message always the same: I'm here, I believe in you, this is what I know to be true, faith over fear, always.

You were born with a heart that knows no color, no bounds, no judgment. Instead of being jaded, you chose joy. Instead of living in the darkness, you chose to step into the light, to live your life fully immersed in the One who set the path before you. Instead of doubt, you choose a quiet confidence each morning, a confidence that comes from the deep roots of your soul growing in the richest of soils, a confidence that allows those around you to plant their own roots, to find the soil that nourishes their own growth.

I'm thankful for you in so many different ways, across many different years and points of our friendship. The way you forged through the valleys with me growing up, and the way you, quite literally, stood on the mountain tops beside me, too - I'm thankful for all of those moments that tied our souls together, that bound us to one another in a way only a life long friendship can. But what I might be most thankful for now, what I might find the most giggle inducing, joy fulfilling part of this wild life and the roads we each walk is the way we're together now, the way my phone pings each day with your words, the way my darkest fears are quieted by your light filled truths, the way we know and love each other as adults. It's not all that different from the childlike and teenage love that was ingrained in my bones for you the day we became friends all those years ago, but in a way it's stronger, deeper, filled with more respect and wonder and admiration.

Thank you for believing in me, always. Thank you for casting out the longest rope of hope and encouragement, time and time again. Thank you for believing in the goodness of this world, for doing your part to bring sunlight to the shadows. Thank you for being an endless source of inspiration, as a business owner and as a mama and as a badass human being in general. I can see you laughing over something right now, that big smile spread across your face and a babe on your hip, one leg outstretched, that general tone of awe in your voice, and in turn, it makes me smile too.

Thank you and I love you.

Dear Courtney,

I may be what they call an adult in her late (! How and when did that happen?) twenties, but the thought of Bunkin Bronco can still make me giggle out loud.

There’s this surge of energy that races through your core and carries with it such a wave of fun and hilarity. There are so many memories filled with your laughter and accompanied by your imagination and every single time, without fail, I start laughing right out loud to myself when I begin to remember surfing like Kelly Slater and that night you saved me when the nail went through my foot and delirium was starting to set in.

Who knows what I was thinking during that bus ride when I coined the nickname “Bitty,” (really, who knows, but I think it’s so telling now of the silliness that was ever present), but were it to ever need a definition, were the name or the word ever to need an explanation of the one who still to this day will answer to that name, I think it would simply read: fun as hell and loyal and true.

Thank you for never missing a December 1st. Thank you for the text message of comfort that arrives every year without fail. That act alone in our many years of friendship sustains me and keeps me going. Thank you for for being fun as hell and loyal and true 

Thank you & I love you.  

Dear Loren,

It may have taken me a while to tell you I loved you, but boy did I love you something fierce from that Savannah afternoon on.

It's hard to imagine what all of those years without you were like now - you feel like such an ingrained part of my soul and life, simultaneously there and not there all those years.

You're one of the most creatively genius people I've ever met. Your brain is one of my favorites. It's so wacky and wild and soft and loving and brilliant - pure brilliance - and the most imaginative. Dreaming with you may be one of my favorite past times, and if we could coffee shop hop all day long while coming up with bizarre ideas, I would be content for a long, long time (still waiting for our trip somewhere, fyi).

Your resilience, strength, and faith in the face of a decade long battle that only continues with each day leaves me in awe. You walk your roads with an elegance I've yet to see from anyone else in this life, and the way you love your people inspires me to love mine better - gently, with more patience and grace and faith than abounds naturally.

Thank you for believing when I no longer could. You will forever be one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me, and I will spend all of my days thanking Him for your life and friendship. They're one of the extra special ones.

Thank you and I love you. 

Dear Hillary,

I know the sister bond is strong because each day I look down at my left-hand wrist and see that turquoise bracelet, I'm reminded of you - of the way we couldn't be any more different from each other if we tried, but of the way there's a corner in each of our hearts for the other.

I'm reminded of the way two souls and two hearts and two minds can grow up apart from the other, how they can form different opinions and ideas and preferences, how their lives can separate at the fork in the road, yet how they still belong to each other, even after all these years.

I love you like my own. Because though our blood may differ, our hearts have always been the same, they've always been tied together with the stuff that makes a family, the stuff that makes a sister - a love deep in your bones - one that you've known your entire life, a loyalty that knows no wrongdoings, no bounds, no questions, catfights and tears, polishing off bags of chips and candy in one sitting and trips that would only be fun when taken together.

I love you like my own because you are my own - always have been, always will be.

Thank you & I love you.

Dear Michael,

Sometimes when we're all together, I'll look around and I don't know who I feel more sad for: is it me or is it you? Is the gaping hole in my heart as big in your heart in those instances? Do you miss your sidekick as much as I do? The one who was long and gangly just like you, the one who had the same bowl haircut as you, the one who was blonde and sweet and nice, just like you.

Sometimes when I try to imagine what life could be like today if it had all gone so differently, I look at you and Hilly and know - that's what it would be like. A brother and a sister, polar opposites, but with a love and a friendship that breaks the mold. Thank you for including me in that all these years, thank you for never making me feel different when we're all together, for never making me feel like my own sidekick is indeed missing.

Thank you for being the sweet, kind hearted, even tempered soul you are, for balancing the rest of us out. Thank you for being my family, for being part of the healing and part of the stuff that makes life good.

Thank you and I love you.

Dear Tony,

One of my favorite things about my father is the way he laughs when he's really, really enjoying himself. Not the laugh that he has when he finds something amusing, or when he's laughing just to be polite, or when he's laughing because he finds something to be completely and utterly stupid, but the way he laughs when he's really, really, really having fun.

I see that laugh the most when he's around you, when he reverts back to being a young man, one who doesn't yet know the things that will steal his laugh bit by bit, but when he's just chilling out and having a beer with his best friend. That's my favorite laugh of his. And nothing brings it out more than being around you. Alcohol may make it louder, but there's an infectious boyhood energy that you two walk into when we're all together and to see it and experience it makes my soul do a happy dance each time, no matter how annoying you both can end up becoming as the night rumbles on.

Thank you for bringing out that laugh in him. Thank you for standing by us for all of these years, for caring the way you do, the way you always have. Thank you for your big Tony hugs and the way the world feels a little bit more safe when you're around. Thank you for being our family.

Thank you & I love you.