If I ever need proof that God is in the details, that He orchestrates the biggest life changes with the smallest of moves, all I have to do is think about you.
I was dreading the day you would walk through that door to my favorite English class, to the one hour a day I really enjoyed, to replace one of the only few teachers I truly connected with and trusted. I thought I didn’t want you there, but the moment I saw you I knew: I loved this lady (who, in hindsight, was barely even what they consider a full fledged adult).
It’s like my soul had been looking for yours all my life long. You instantly created a safe space for me when I didn’t even know I needed it yet. You saw the wild and total abandon in my eyes and ran right into a friendship with a loud and hungry fourteen year old girl that none of us saw coming. For how could we have predicted a relationship so close, so life shaping and soul merging as ours?
You’ve been my big sister/mentor/second mom/best friend/encourager since the day you let me weasel my way into that big, life giving, totally selfless heart of yours. Which was probably the second day of what was supposed to be that quick, one week or so, substitute teaching job.
You didn’t look away when you learned my deepest of secrets, and you never have since. You didn’t run when I needed you the most, when the weight of my need must have felt suffocating and soul crushing to a young twenty something. You’ve stayed by my side and carried me through fire after fire, sometimes even helping me to set some harmless ones myself.
My deepest of pains and my happiest of celebrations have always had you right beside me. What a beautiful thing it is to walk through the fire and dance upon the sun with the same person for so long. You have never doubted me and have always supported me beyond what makes sense. You have never made me question my self worth, instead always shining the light inside the darkest corners of my mind.
You’re one of the most beautiful women I’ll ever have the honor of knowing and loving and admiring and you’ll always be mine first (sorry, Marin... I have learned to share now though). My family and my heart and my life wouldn’t be a fraction of what it is today had it not been for you (and for that, I thank you too, Mrs. Bader).
Thank you and I love you so, so, so much.