In the September after the three of you left for college, in one of the emails back and forth between Zach and I, I mentioned how I hadn't heard from you or from Sam for a while, how I was sad without all three of my big brothers and did he think they still cared about me? Did he still love me, too? This was his response:
"You of all people should know that I will always love you and care about you. The fact that you have to ask me makes me feel like I have failed as a brother. I love you more than you could ever imagine and think about you all the time boo boo. I miss having you here to put me in check. Don't worry... Sammy and Mikey still love you... they are just very busy. I'm extremely busy too, so I can see why they haven't been able to talk to you. I have not even talked to either one of them in about a week and a half.... but trust me, they love you, as do I."
Neither one of us realized then how much the three of y'all would morph into the three of us, how we may have thought y'all loved me then and I loved y'all then, but how that love would be tested and strengthened over the coming months and years ahead.
You're not only Zach's best friend, you're my big brother, too. And I'm the luckiest to call you my family.
Thank you for taking me to Boston. Thank you for loving Zach and Sammy like no other man friendship I’ve ever witnessed since. Thank you for showing me what friendship, loyalty and family look like when lived out loud, when experienced without abandon. Thank you for never leaving me, but instead for rescuing me at all times - whether in the middle of the night or on a random Tuesday morning when the storm decided to roll in. Thank you for teaching me what you know, thank you for sacrificing for me, thank you for pouring into me and never giving up on me. Thank you for stepping into the role of your best friend, for never even hesitating for a nanosecond.
You're full of fire and adventure (like your own papa bear) and you're one of the most fun people I know. You hold me to a standard higher than most, and you consistently cheer me on, regardless of the feat before me.
One time you told me to go kick ass and take names later, and there were many days I would wake up in the morning repeating that line to myself. I like to think that I took your advice and ran with it, purely because I’ve had the best example leading me and supporting me all of these years: you.
There’s a softness that makes up your soul. It’s surrounded in all four corners by a jagged little coating of protection, but if you lift up the edge of that little bit of armor you’ll find the most tender hearted, driven and ambitious, selfless and giving, colorful and silly soul that makes you one of my most favorite people on this universe, that makes you my loyal big brother, that makes you the incredible man I’m so proud of.
To be your little sister and to be continuously loved by you is one of the most God giving relationships and gifts I’ve ever experienced.
Thank you & I love you so so so so so much.